


Hush

by jitteryfinch



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Crystal Gems, Drabble, Gem War, Pre-Canon, Rebellion, Renegade Pearl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 09:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16490300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jitteryfinch/pseuds/jitteryfinch
Summary: A glimmer of hope that they’ll finally see, yet she remains quiet.





	Hush

It takes her a moment to collect herself, and truly, that is what she is doing— she struggles to gather and pull back in and keep every little bit of herself, and it never gets easier.  
This is the third time this week she’s had to retreat into her gem to heal. She’d been run through with a sword three days ago, and had a battle axe cleave halfway through her ribcage just yesterday, but now...  
The Bismuth was, as they always were, heading towards Rose, and she had her back turned.  
Pearl had leapt into action, abandoning the Jasper that she’d been locked in combat with to throw herself in front of her liege. The mace collided into the joint between her neck and shoulder; there was a horrible crunch, and then it tore through her form completely and she was gone.  
She’d been mangled so terribly that it took all of her willpower to even picture what her form looked like untouched. She just wanted to rest.  
It was difficult to approximate how much time had passed, but she was certain the others would already be talking. They didn’t understand why she was so reckless; it was unlike her. She was normally so careful and precise. Even in battle, her strikes were few but fatal. The rest of the Crystal Gems couldn’t wrap their minds around why she would act so strangely when Rose Quartz could clearly handle herself.  
It was Pearl that they wondered about the most. Stolen, most had said, far before anyone had ever even considered escaped. Defective usually followed close after. The more crass ones would say broken. The first two— the first, she corrected— had said renegade.  
The fusion had asked (well, asked in her very Garnet way) why she was so ready to throw her own life away regardless of reason.  
“You...you shouldn’t be so willing to be shattered.” She had said, three eyes flicking uncertainly as she worried her lip, clearly choosing her words carefully. “Wh... tell me wh...” She trailed off again, and Pearl’s hand moved to rest gently against her breastbone. It looked like she was touched by the fusion’s words (and truly, she was. No gem had ever made such a conscious effort to not give her an order.), but in reality her fingers were already vibrating with effort, ready to clutch and claw at her face and make her choke on the voice she had fought so hard to use.  
No one can know.  
Her hands were the first to come back to her, and she imagined them cold and unyielding against her mouth. She went on from there where she could, following slender arms down to narrow shoulders. She didn’t have time to perfect her form how she’d like- she had to return as quickly as possible.  
The closer she got to reforming, the louder she could hear echoes of what she was certain they were saying. Garnet would suggest that Pearl was simply the most loyal to the cause. Bismuth would joke that Pearl thought Rose couldn’t take on the Homeworld soldiers. Snowflake would offer up, hesitantly, that it was probably common programming in Pearls to protect their mistresses no matter what, considering their expendability and insignificance. Rose would smile and roll her eyes but never object and never, ever tell them what was true.  
No one can know.  
With a soft white glow and a sparkle of stardust, she is back, minus the scratches and scuffs she’d received from the fight. The battlefield is near empty now, with shards and weapons littering the ground around her. She whirls around frantically, her mind still racing, remnants of her form chasing her movements and trying to cling together.  
Finally she lays her eyes on Rose and her panic leaves, exiting her body on a cry of relief.  
“My dia-!” It doesn’t matter that her mind isn’t clear, that it is simply joy that coaxes the name from her heart. Her hands move with enough force to make her stumble back, face stinging from the impact.  
Rose simply smiles sympathetically, gently removing Pearl’s hands from her mouth— but only after she is sure she will stay silent.  
Pink lips brush against the glimmering surface embedded in her forehead, and she practically launches herself into Rose’s embrace. Pearl tries to keep quiet as tears seep into Rose’s dress. She doesn’t want to be told not to cry. She wants to be allowed this. She wants to be allowed to—  
“Hush now, my Pearl.” Rose murmurs, and the smaller gem’s jaw tightens.  
“No one can know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this little peek into Pearl’s thoughts! Please leave a kudos and a comment, I’m brand new to ao3 and I’d love to hear your thoughts!


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